A special Christmas
by Jordan202
Summary: Cameron deals with her past in order to try to build a future. Will there be room for Chase in her new life ? CHAMOne shot. Translation of the original I wrote in Portuguese.


The city was shed with the million colorful lights that decorated each squared feet of the radious season.

But Cameron hated Christmas.

The peace of spirit that the holidays were supposed to bring her were eclipsed by the bad memories and experiences lived in such time. She looked the city around her and everything that came to her mind were memories. Some good, some bad but all of them were illustrated by a smile that made any problem seem too little.

David Cameron had been the biggest fan of the Holidays she had ever met.

He enjoyed gathering the whole family, celebrating with a lot of food,a lot of presents and a lot of laughter. It was with him that Allison learned the value a family had, and it had been his loss that had taught her how miserable and sad loneliness could be.

Another Christmas was coming up and Allison really didn't see a reason to celebrate. It wasn't like she was love sick about David. He had been her husband, but deep down they both knew he wasn't a ardent passion. He was just a dear friend, sentenced to a tragic end. David had been the only person she could really count on, the only one that had literally trusted her his life. They were only twenty-one by the time and the minute she knew what destiny had reserved to him, she made a decision:

_"We'll stay together. I'm never gonna leave you alone. We'll fight against this, David."_ Words still echoed in her mind.

_"It's not the burden you have to carry, Alli. It's not your responsability. You don't want to spend the rest of my days taking care of a sick friend."_

_"If I'm not capable of taking care of my own friend, then what's gonna be of my future patients? Don't talk as if it was over already, Dave."_

_"But it is, Alli. I've already accepted what it's about to come. My last request is that you do too. Marry me."_

_"What?!"_

_"Marry me, Alli."_

Now Allison understood why David had asked her that. By that time, she thought it was because he needed to be sure she would never leave his side. But after his death she realized David's true intentions. He had left on her name a bank account that had guaranteed her finantial security for her to graduate without having to work or getingt a loan. She could dedicate herself fully to her career, enjoying of the gift David had left for her to do something actually good and constructive. She hadn't known he had that much money until the day his attorney knocked on her door, a few weeks after his death.

And today, years later, Allison could still clearly remember his face on Christmas time, kissing her forehead and sharing with her all the joy that took over him. Despite their close friendship, they had never shared anything beyond that. David was a sick man and he had known to spare Allison of one involvement that would only bring her more pain in the future. They had lived together for six months and built a friendship that she knew, would never find one alike.

Allison had had flings and dates after his death, of course, but had never let anyone get too close to her. Actually, to the fear of that added the fact that she never really thought any of those guys were worth it.

Until he came along and changed all her concepts.

What would be doing at Christmas? Did he think of her? Maybe he had someone to share that holiday that was so special, so intimate? Cameron closed her eyes and imagined herself exchanging gifts and kisses with someone special, someone who held her and made her feel secure when he did it. Someone who would turn his back to her and leave when things got complicated, like it had always happened. In her dream, that someone was tall, had blond hair and eyes that smiled with his mouths as well, brightening every single corner of his face. It was a someone that knew how to whisper sweet words in her ears, that didn't ask too many questions and didn't tell her lies. He understood her and respected her for who she was, and more than that, he really liked her for who she was.

Cameron didn't understand why it had to be so scary, why she couldn't simply let go of the past and try to connect herself to the present. Maybe then she would be able to have a future.

In her hands, a yellow paper that clearly had suffered the actions of time revealed a thin and beautiful handwriting, drawing sweet words filled with an unique love touch:

_My dear,_

_I know that by the time you read this letter you'll be taken by a feeling of deep sadness. I know. Once again, I get you. That's why I want you to pay attention to every single word I have to say and remember of every good memory we built together. That will help us both and will make much easier for you to understand everything I have to say._

_During all this time, a lot of things happened. Five hundred songs, fifty nicknames, one million of tears and smiles, a lot of slaps on the forehead... We even created our own language only we ourselves speak... And if that's not a true friendship, then, please, tell me what that is. _

_I'm writing this to you so you can understand how much I appreciated everything you've done for me. I hope that in a few years you be able to read this letter and smile when you remember all this. I hope you have someone really special by your side that can understand you how I understood you, and more, that can give you more than I gave you. Because you, Alli, are a wonderful person, a wonderful woman, and you deserve to have by your side a man that values that in a way I wasn't able to provide you._

_This Christmas I know I'm not in the conditions of giving you a decent present. So I want you to give me one: Be happy. Move on with your life. Don't stop soon because every age has its pleasures and its fears and be tolerant to those around you. Not everyone has your abilities and your grace, darling. I hope you have someone you to love, to love you unconditionally and that even when things seem to be in the end, this love is strong and great enough to start all over again. _

_I really loved you, Alli. For the friendship we shared, for my defects you ignored, for my qualities you exalted. For my faith in love you used to feed and for the peace I felt when you were around. Thank you for this silence that most part of the time said everything, for your look that often disappproved mewithout saying a word, for the pure nature of your feelings and for being here with me, even when you were not. Thank you for being happy and sad with me, for reprehending me when I was wrong, for my secrets, always very well kept; for your secrets, that I only I know of. And lastly, thank you for thinking I deserved everything you gave me._

_Please, don't be sorry for my death. I didn't really leave. Don't use a different tone in your voice when you refer to me. Laugh and joke as we used to. I'll always be there with you. Who said I'll be away of your thoughts just because I'm away of your eyes? I'll be waiting for you, a million of kilometers from here or just around the corner._

_Everything is okay._

_Love, _

_David. _

Cameron squeezed the letter in her hand, tears running down her face incontrolably. He had died near Christmas, spotting her calendar with a shadow of an experience she would never get through. The loss of David had left her without a purpose. His letter gave her strenght to go on, but she never really expected to find what he hoped she would.

And she had never given that the right value. Never, until she met Chase.

She remembered his sweet words asking what she would do in Christmas. _"Nada"_, she had told him. Chase then asked her to spend the holidays with him a few friends. They had more in common than Cameron had supposed. She thought he would go back to Australia, but apparently he didn't have a good relationship with his family, just like her. Cameron wasn't sure if that was a good idea, but she wouldn't stay at home digesting her thoughts in order to find out. She had decided to give Chase a chance, give herself a chance and she counted with David's supported for that. He, who had always understood her better than anyone else, would know that it was more than time for her to let herself get involved again.

When the bell rang, involuntarily she smiled. She put David's letter back on her pocket. Who knows maybe one of those days she could look into Chase's and share with him her past. She hoped she would, that things evolved between them to that point. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she felt him kissing her and smile with the perspective of what was abou to come.

"Merry Christmas, Alli" He said, handing her a present. It had a card attached to it. In the white paper, she distinguished his handwriting. _"Again, not stolen". _Laughing, she kissed him again.

No one other than David had called her like that. For a long time, Cameron hated when they did it. But now, it wasn't that relevant anymore. David's Alli wasn't the same. She has grown up, changed, new loves had came to her life. Slowly, she was becoming Chase's Alli.

It would be the best Christmas she would spend in a long time. And all thanks to Chase and the new doors he was opening in her life.


End file.
